Blood Vessels?

The other day I went with my friend Tess to St. David's, in West Wales UK.


It was lovely being next to the sea again. Tess went off and did her work while I spent the time photographing a small $400 resin doll that I had earlier produced from the back of the car. And this made me happy for a few hours or so, even though the wind kept blowing her over. Tess and I found eachother at the end and went crazy about how stunning the ocean is, especially the "water that's in the air".

It was a lovely day out, but on the way back I had this weird feeling.

We were talking about how it's bizarre how roads are buildings - they require maintenance, they are built, they are essentially buildings, right? When surely a road should just be a path you follow that doesn't have trees blocking it? I was overtired, and I had the sense of these roads, motorways, as being electrical wires - connecting this big heaving black machine that is human civilization. I had a sense of this sprawling mass of human-made matter, spread across the land, all around the world. I had a sense of myself as a part of it, zooming along these building-roads, in a device known as a 'car', a thing that powers itself along with the push of a lever, with nothing pulling it. I was- I am- part of the system, whether I like it or not. I do not know how a car works. I do not know how my laptop works. Do you know how your computer works? If it broke, would you be able to fix it or make yourself a new one? Probably not. You'd pay for a 'specialist', pay for a new laptop. You'd hand the laptop fixer select pieces of 'money', or a thin plastic card with numbers on, and the laptop fixer would be satisfied with that.

I felt my brain spinning away, I had to remind myself of that car I was sitting in, the music we had playing, the reality of my seat, the crazy forces going on with that car... Seriously, I was meant to accept what was going on. We're all meant to accept what's going on, when the reality of our situation is just about as bizarre as things come.

Have a problem coming to terms with reality? Don't worry, they call that 'psychosis', anyone can suffer from it at any time, and it's perfectly treatable. With medication. Until things are 'normal' again.

We actually think our bullshit matters. We're just workers; we are designed to keep it going, we don't have to know what's going on or even what we are a part of, we just keep the thing running, like minuscule jolts of electricity; there's no beginning and no end, not unless the machine gets broken, in which case it gets fixed. It is self sustaining now, and we've made it more complex than ever necessary, but it is essentially a machine.

Almost everything around you is man-made.

I had this feeling of how tiny and irrelevant we are in the grand scheme of things, less than specks of dust.
Yet universes potentially exist within each of our minds.

It's so crazy. Life started out as single-cell-organisms, and now we have trillions and trillions of cells in our living bodies. Our bodies are organic machines- systems- probably more complex than ever necessary...
Even though we've created our own machine it will never be as perfect or self reliant as our bodies, our planet, our solar system, our galaxy. Ever noticed how cells, with their nuclei and electrons look so much like a star system?

And those roads were a lot like blood vessels, only stinkier.

LISTEN TO THIS www.youtube.com/watch?v=grcqs9…. It is the most true and relevant thing I ever remember hearing, especially from 6.40.



Tess has the right idea, because she appreciates the sky. It's probably the only thing within your vision that isn't man-made. Even fields were cut into the earth by humans.




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